Health & Well-Being

Do You Argue Like This?

Going tit for tat goes nowhere.


Arguing is not only normal, it’s quite healthy for a marriage. It’s the primary vehicle for change. If we’re unhappy with something our partner does or doesn’t do, only by confronting them can we make our needs understood, and give our partner some direction to satisfy our needs, if they choose to. Arguments also make partners come together — by fixing their problems as a couple, they can feel more bonded to each other.

In fact, couples who never fight might have bigger problems than those who argue regularly. Their relationship may lack trust, so partners are unable to be honest and candid with each other. Or they may keep their interactions at superficial levels just to avoid conflicts. An unhappy partner in a conflict-avoiding relationship won’t have many avenues for making his or her marriage better.

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