Since he can regard many problems as no big deal, a husband can trivialize his wife’s issues. He might then choose to ignore her distress, or worse, ridicule her or behave impatiently when she tries to explain what’s wrong. Such reactions can undermine her ability to cope with the problem, but also gives her the added problem that her husband doesn’t understand her.
This approach serves no good purpose whatsoever. He’s much better off taking her issues seriously, because the support he provides can make all the difference in the world in how she feels about him. Besides, there’s a good chance that, because her emotional ties to others run deeper than his, she’s more likely to notice real problems that he would miss.
So that means a wife has to tell her husband directly she needs his support. But that can be difficult since she might feel vulnerable, or think he regards her as silly or insecure. So she might prefer to do it indirectly by using emotional messages, such as moods, rather than words. That leaves it to him to pick up on her need for help, and if and when he fails to read her subtle or non-verbal cues, she’s not going to interpret that in a good way. Of course, if she told him directly that she wants to discuss an issue rather than wait for him to figure it out, there would be no need for bad feelings and misinterpretations. In fact, he would probably be relieved to find out that the problem isn’t about him and so would be happy to talk about it as long as she liked.
But many women have to fight for it.
