If lottery-type odds aren’t enough, researchers argue that a soul mate wouldn’t necessarily make a good partner. The emotional and physical connection that is central to the idea of soul mate cannot be sustained indefinitely. Life events such as children, finances, and various other sources of conflict will affect how spouses feel about each other. When we don’t feel quite as passionate or connected, we may then question whether the person we thought was our soul mate truly is. That leaves ourselves open to a very big disappointment.
Here’s other ways believing in a soul mate works against your self interests. We might not consider a person with whom we’re perfectly compatible. Or if we decide to “settle” on that person, we might have a hard time building emotional bonds because we’re never quite sure that person is our one and only. Then, when problems arise, we retreat from our commitment because, well, these problems would never have emerged if we were with our true soul mate.