So how does one know if relationship problems are due to a dysfunctional attachment style? You really can’t on your own. If you’re emotionally detached, you probably don’t think that’s a character flaw and you don’t see anything that has to be fixed. Or your own attachment problems might cause you to misinterpret situations. So while you’d like to believe the fault lies with your partner, it might in fact result from your own attachment style.
There’s a big problem with relying on self-diagnosis and treatment for such complex issues — you can get it wrong and do it badly. Trained therapists can be much more effective at determining what’s truly at the heart of your issues, and whether problems in your relationship result from outside events and conditions or from personal characteristics — your own or your partner’s.
