But even if a dominating partner knows the relationship is unfair, they still have to be willing to do something about. The problem here is that they strive to be in control, and they can feel entitled to that role. Some might believe that the success of their relationship depends on their ability to make all the decisions. They might believe they can best manage their partner’s lives for them.
However, the person who is being controlled is not likely to see it that way – they are likely to find their relationship aggravating and their feelings toward their partner less than loving. Forcing someone to behave or think in a particular way is a very good way to alienate them.
Furthermore, what a dominating partner often doesn’t realize is that it’s not in their best interests to take on that job. When we try to control another person, we’re deciding we know the best way for that person to live. However, a way of thinking or acting that’s best for us might not be best for another person. Secondly, while we may believe we have our partner’s best interests at heart, that’s not usually the case. Very often we’re working from our own agenda, and we want our partner to live and act in a certain way because it fills our own needs, not theirs.
Finally, if you try to get someone to act a certain way, you become responsible for what happens to them and how they feel as a result. The responsibility for outcomes suffered by your partner is one you should be happy to avoid, because when things go badly, you get and deserve all the blame.
