Let’s begin with sex. Men live in a more sexual world, and sex is one way they express their masculinity and feel validated. While emotions aren’t a necessary component, men don’t disregard emotions completely. In fact, they regard sex as a way to bond with their wives emotionally. Emotional closeness is and end-product of sex, that is, they feel close to their wives after the act, regardless of how they felt beforehand.
Unfortunately, many wives see things the other way around. Feeling connected is an essential prerequisite for intimacy. Sex is something that flows from, and is a end-product of, their emotional connection. They have to feel close to their husbands before having sex.
With these different gender-driven ways of thinking, you can hear the comments. A husband might say “I can’t believe you won’t have sex with me. I haven’t seen you all day!” But his wife might say “I can’t believe you want to have sex. I haven’t seen you all day!”
That’s why couples can sometimes run into problems as to when, or if, they should have sex. Both look for sex to provide the same thing — emotional bonding. But because they go about it from opposite directions they can seem to have different agendas: women just want to feel loved; men just want to have sex.
