Low trust people bring to their marriage the same problems that are found among couples in which one partner truly can’t be trusted. They have trouble communicating, constantly question their partner’s motives, and allow their feelings of mistrust to cloud their overall perceptions of their partner and their marriage. Furthermore, because they tend to be highly critical, they will look upon what their partners say and do with much less tolerance than would a trusting person. They might also regard their partner’s questionable words and deeds as personally threatening, and that can cause them to overreact to minor indiscretions. As a consequence, small problems can have a bigger impact than they normally should.
Someone who’s married to a low-trust person will find their relationship to be exasperating. They might feel constant pressure to make sure they come across as honest and trustworthy. Such scrutiny can mean they have to spend more effort than should be necessary justifying themselves. They might also think there’s a “Kafkaesque” quality to their relationship. They feel punished or criticized for no reason, and yet guilty and helpless to fix a problem that really doesn’t exist. Along with feeling frustrated and possibly resentful, they’re likely to feel insecure about themselves and their relationship. As a result, they’re likely to find it difficult to stay personally connected to their partner.
