After we’ve become involved with another person, there are other wrong-headed beliefs that can interfere with our relationship progressing. Here are a few examples: couples should never argue; each partner should know what the other is thinking; love conquers all; people cannot change how they behave; men and women are inherently different and can never get along; sex should always be perfect.
Anyone who’s been married more than a few weeks sees the irrationality. Arguments are unavoidable and all couples argue. In fact, arguments are healthy — it’s how we get clarity as to our partner’s needs and they give us a forum for presenting our own needs. And it’s only the very naive who believe love can overcome hardships — a few children or unpaid bills is usually enough to straighten out that thinking. Sometimes sex is fantastic, and sometimes it’s just okay. People may not be able to change their personalities much, but they can change how they act, and actions are the way personality is expressed.
