While we can get fairly close to finding someone similar to ourselves, the odds of finding a perfect match are pretty low. In fact, there’s a good chance that a prospective partner will have one or more unappealing traits. So we will have to make some trade-offs. We adjust our criteria so that they are more in line with that person’s actual characteristics.
But we have to make sure we can live with such trade-offs. If we can’t, we may eventually come to feel conflicted about our relationship. That might also mean your partner will be conflicted about you. With both of you feeling disillusioned, you will probably find yourselves in continual conflict. And these conflicts are hard to resolve, because they’re often not about a particular issue — they’re about who each of you are as people.