High Life

Now You Can Take It With You

Living a high quality after-life

Forget the old adage “ you can’t take it with you”, because now you can. And you have options. One company will cryogenically freeze you head indefinitely until you are thawed out, fixed-up, and put back into service. Same with your possessions. They will do your pets, your potted plants, and even a part of your wardrobe. They will not do your cash. Guess they figure how much could $33.00 be worth in 2191. After all, it is hardly a double latte today.

That is one way…but if you hate the cold there is still hope. Another fledgling company will build a coffin with pockets, compartments and even a shelf for your after-death photos. It is a bit larger than the standard, being eight feet long by almost 5 feet wide. Weighing a little over 145 pounds, it means  you need some very ‘healthy ‘ pallbearers.

I personally am in favor of these modernistic ideas. Makes you think you are not dying, simply moving and deciding what to take with you. Look at it this way. You decide to take some of your old vinyl records and some of your first editions. You leave the Xmas sweater behind as you are not quite sure of where you are going. OK. So when you come back you’ve got all this vintage stuff worth who knows what…perhaps enough to get you started in a new business venture, or even the down payment on a tiny house in the back of a pick-up truck inside one of the moon’s 17 newly discovered craters.

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Here’s a question… do you take your phone?  If not, do you download the info on it? You never know who else is coming back and you might want to get in touch with your old high school sweetheart in case your wife decides she has had enough and wants no part of this ‘brave new world’, so for her freezing is out!

Another thing…you decided to take Fido but what about his food. Dogs can be very picky about what they eat. Will he be ok with a once a week food pellet or is it a good idea to take the small 5 pound bag of Science Diet? (This way there is no break in his feeding schedule once he is ‘thawed’).  And, on that note, what is to be done about walking the mutt and where will you do that? Terrible to be in a place with zero gravity and have the little guy whisked away into the ether.

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These are all valid things to ponder!

Finally, when will you come back?  That depends on what ended your life in the first place. If it’s simply old age you should be returning in 20-30 years. If it’s a disease that is still uncured, well now you may have a good long wait… and once you are back, another problem arises…enormous  lines. Think NYC subway at rush hour lines just to have the new body attached. Will there be lines in grocery stores and at the DMV, or do we get all of that info piped in to your new reborn head/brain?

This is stuff that would certainly be worth coming back to find out. Once you are back will there be a phone book so you can locate others who have come before you? Can you select the new body to go with your head? Be nice to look like a young “Arnold” for a few decades.

So much to think about, no wonder people get crazy before they move….

Relax and enjoy the trip, this is only the first step of many.

By the way, forget the custom-sized casket — just kidding on that.

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